This subject has come up a couple of times recently, and whilst it’s often joked about, I don’t think it’s taken seriously enough from a coaching perspective.
At some point in your riding career – whether it’s a weekly riding lesson or a competitive full time hobby – you will transfer from a child rider to an adult rider. From this, I mean your attitude towards your riding changes slightly.
Children in general tend to be unaware of the potential consequences of riding. Of course, if they fall off then they may have a confidence knock or an injury, but it’s usually short lived – once the bruise has faded or they’ve experienced the canter again successfully, they’re happy – out of sight, out of mind so to speak. There are some exceptions of course. Adults on the other hand, are much more aware of the consequences of something going wrong whilst riding, and are always conscious of the risks.
For example, if you break an arm and can’t drive how can you go to work; who’s going to pay the bills; and who’s going to look after the children and pets?
As a teenager or young adult you slowly become independent: moving out into your own house, getting a job, running your own car. It’s about now that you realise what risks you take with your riding. It doesn’t mean you’re going to stop, or loose your nerve, but it does mean that you double check the ground before having a gallop on a hack. You’ll build yourself up through the heights more steadily in a jumping lesson. You’re more likely to stop on a good note rather than try the next level and risk it going wrong. And if you haven’t done a particular exercise for a while you are more cautious when trying it. I’ve often been told by clients, who are by all means competent, that they are feeling nervous because they’ve not ridden for a week. So continuity is important for adult riders, and if they haven’t ridden for a little while the lesson should be more of a revision session, rather than the opportunity to teach something new.
I think this subject needs discussing when training coaches, especially the young, fresh faced ones who are yet to make this transition or have a confidence knock at all. After all, they need to understand that adult riders have a slightly different agenda to their young counterparts and lesson plans need to reflect the cautionary approach adult riders can have, and the fact their riding ambitions are as much about enjoying themselves and staying safe than going fast or jumping high. Preparation for competitions, and long term lesson goals should take the continuity factor into account and allow time to build things back up if there’s a riding break scheduled.
Adults joke that they don’t bounce anymore, and it’s true. Bruises last longer and stiffness lingers. So it’s understandable that you want to minimise injuries. There are also physical changes such as arthritis, past injuries, acquired weaknesses which can make adults feel more vulnerable when riding. I think it’s important that adult riders acknowledge the fact that their riding ambitions and confidences have changed compared to when they were younger, and to make adjustments to lessons and riding plans to take this into account. It’s worth checking that you are most comfortable with your tack and protective equipment. Perhaps you want to start hacking in a body protector, or having a neck strap. Either way, it’s important to do what you need to do to be happy.
I think as you get older, the relationship you have with your horse becomes paramount. As an owner, you may be less inclined to ride friends’ horses if yours is off work, and it takes longer to build a bond with a horse and develop that trust. It might be that the horse you bought as a teenager is no longer the horse you want to ride as an adult, in which case have an honest conversation with yourself. And if you’re buying a new horse, be truthful about what you would have liked – that palomino feisty horse all teenagers dream of – and what you need now.
I was asked last week if my riding had changed since motherhood. It’s an interesting question, and I don’t think mine is necessarily an easy answer. Yes, it has changed over the last couple of years – I’m preferring the training aspect and the dressage foundation work. But I think this has as much to do with losing Otis as my riding partner than becoming pregnant. I loved eventing Otis. But I think that’s because I had such a strong bond with him and trusted him with my life. After he went lame I didn’t have the desire to ride other horses to the same level. So my riding changed slightly then. It’s not to say I’d have never returned to what I was doing with him, it’s just that I wasn’t ready at that time or had the horsepower and then things happened.
Motherhood definitely changes your approach to riding; in the early days your body is still recovering from the beating it received during labour and you’re rebuilding your previous strength and fitness. Added to the fact that the little bundle of joy on the side of the arena is totally dependent on you, you are definitely less of a risk taker. Now, my riding ambitions and my reason for riding has changed. Firstly, I’m in less of a hurry to perfect things because I don’t need the pressure on top of learning to juggle family, baby and work. Secondly, I’m more interested in riding as a break from motherhood. That hour when I can forget about how many teeth are coming through, whether there’s a pair of dry, clean tights on the washing line for the morning, and if she’ll eat the courgette I’ve made for dinner. Thirdly, I’m building my relationship with Phoenix. And I want to get it right, so I’m crossing the Ts and dotting the Is. I think, had I still been riding Otis when I became pregnant I’d be back up to what we were doing, perhaps doing fewer competitions, focusing on dressage, or sticking to jumping 90s which were well within our comfort zone rather than feeling the need to push ourselves.
I’ve had similar conversations with several clients recently: some say they’ve lost their nerve, some say they just don’t want to jump that big anymore, others find excuses not to ride out of their comfort zone. And it’s fine. It’s no biggie. No one is telling you you have to jump that big, or gallop that fast. And if they are, they aren’t your friend! Focus on what you, the adult, wants to get out of riding – take away the pressure – and chat to your friends and instructor to work out the best strategy to keep you in the saddle and smiling.